我不想我们的故事挂上句号

I've been at this pm for a few days alr. Hah. I'm really afraid and fearful that another r/s is going to end. Esp since these kinda r/s are all so valuable to me.

I've been very intolerant.
Come to think of it, it may not be your fault.
It may just be me. Again.
For wanting you 2 to be the perfect friends, when I'm fully cognizant of the fact that perfection doesn't exist in reality.
Flaws do.

Yeah, it could just be me alone.
That's why I complain and am so particular with whatever you 2 do.
Well then, I'll try to be the most understanding I could be; AND CONTINUE BEING NICE. HEE..

erase the negativity, embrace the positivity (:

Is it because yall are just SOOOO important to me?

will our story ever end?

I'm touched.

I hope it turns out fine this time round.

As for the other you, I really don't know how to react to what you did.
Is it just me or that you're (dy/dx)-ed?

shocked and fearful;

I saw your foot out, yet I went ahead and tripped.

What does it say?

Today

Baked. Good. Thoughts repeated themselves, but not too bad. Self-reflected. Tooth re-ached. Bad.

I'll check my mail later.

for now, I really have to drop my weapon.
I've not been nice, though the recent news pieces have really proved to be juicy.

#1; REFRAIN FROM REPEATING THEM
#2; REFRAIN FROM TALKING ABOUT THE SAME PEOPLE OVER AND OVER AGAIN
#3; CONTROL MY KP-NESS
#4; KEEP PERSONAL VIEWS LYING LOW.

Hopefully I'm able to adhere to those. Gosh.. What have I turned into man.
i'm annoying myself.

#5; REFRAIN FROM DISCUSSING PW EXCEPT ON TUESDAYS.

abstinence is white;

原来你的世界是如此漆黑

Yay. cleared my mails.

Things are getting better now. It has been busy coz I've always perceived it as busy.
When actually, my life now is kinda rather fulfilling with packed schedules.

Well, Pw went from bad to good today.
Phews and thank God.
After BJ left us, Dy showed us his blog and read stories for us.
He revealed some of his deepest darkest moments/secrets.
It was shocking definitely.
And yeah, we have been gossiping.. And I found out another thing abt another OG mate.
VERY surprising this one. Lol.
Back to dy, not surprising about his '3 weeks ago'.
Kinda expected.
As I felt there had to be fairness, I shared my story too.
hah. I went around and around the table... and make gravely misleading statements which everyone felt they were wrong.
x_x
But the air's been cleared.
Fly declared himself free from any arms.
Joey.. lol. As naive as usual.
that's about all I have to say.
I can't divulge anymore. not here.
And I hope I don't leak out too much in the next pw discussion. gg lah.

But my thoughts.. I really wanna share them. Like spontaneously, I just want someone to know.
But my closest friends aren't there when I wanna burst them out.

Like err.. how much I detest the kids in my class?! [PURELY AN EG (:]

wow
In the past, it used to be my lil' bro sitting on my lap. Now?
I'd sit on his.
Well yeah. Unbelievably.
Tre is really strong now. Oh boy, he can really knock me out.
Brandon - Usual self. Introverted; we share a similar characteristic -> both of us don't like being around people.
Things have got busy and are going to get busier.
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1. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Your ambiguity just kills me.
2. Sorry bro for sitting on your right leg -_-.. making it numb.
3. Sorry bacon T_T... I hurt your leg.

who else?
Nobody else.
Bacon's cute. Very strong though. smart, friendly and kinda obedient during the first acquaintance (:
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Cousins fretting over having met the wrong guys.
lol. And 2 outta three prefer singlehood.
Count me in man.

Don't you find being single, just going around crushing people quietly without having to make a single commitment very free and just so happy?
Lol.
It's pleasant enough to just think about it, not being in it.

Ok, time to sleep.

OK. I AM STRESSED. LIKE FOR ONCE I CAN REALLY FEEL THE STRESS COMING TO ME..PENETRATING MY CELLS AFTER CTs.

Everything seems to be toppling on me, and I just have to blog it all out.
This week is hectic and long. Plus little sleep.
Seriously, I can't understand where he's coming from. In fact, I'm damn pissed with him for making me do things. Lol. Ok fine. I shall try my best?! BUT Why is he coming up with all these UGH stuff and pple have to do those sub UGH stuff? Ok, I'm not gonna apologise if you can't understand what I mean. Lol. Jk (:

And 2, I have unfinished business. Like loads of 'em! And more is piling. Like what the.. But thanks BJ for that fish necklace. It's very sweet of you. Lol. but I doubt he'll ever come across this. Ok, I suppose the minor conflict we had is kinda resovled, because he's finally opening up.
But that's not the point. the point is! I have uncompleted Math, which I CANNOT do. I have econs and chem to go through, which I haven't really done so. And my dear bro kinda dragged me to sing K with him like.err..TODAY?! Really fish man.. I wonder..am I condoning him? It was the most unbearable K experience in my entire 16 years 7 months 9 days 22 hours 17 minutes 55 seconds on Earth. Still, I can't get Physics! Fly told me..CHILL. Ok, I listen to him. (only for phy)

No. 3, I need to do PW research! Why am I doing it? I really wish I could pass this burden on to the other members. Why did I volunteer to do it at first? btw, it's done. Just that I copied and pasted everything without reading it coz i just don't feel like reading anything now, except words i'm typing.

4,.. wht's 4?! I'm just so tired. Like I'm not exactly ok with doing things I just don't have the aptitude for. Esp art related stuff. God oh God. And I curse myself for using vulgarities. Dy told me to stop swearing. I'm a lady!! Ok. Girl. But nothing very very very bad came out. Just the normal stuff I speak.. multiplied by infinity..tht's why everything I said started becoming pretty vulgar. As if I'd wanted that.

5; I still can't view DY's blog. Like I've tried for a few hours but my efforts came to a nought.

Brain: SEE!! I told you not to care alr. Why should you even bother trying when it's so annoying and it makes you feel.. screwed? Why do you even care and want to know?
ME: I'm curious lah dey. like uh super. I wanna know who his gf/crush/bf is . Hot news eh.

well, I guess I will never find out.

I WANNA SLEEP ALL THE BAD STUFF AWAY. but tmr when i open my eyes..no wait. even before that..when my brain is switched on, everything will start to rush to me.. the stress will be there again. Tmr. Until I get it done.

Ok i'm going through chem. It'll make me sleep.

Ok.

I promise and swear dude:

I'm not going to expect anything from them anymore.
Let's keep the expectations to negative.
Then we'll see how the project goes.. when I stop nagging them to complete their tasks and at least fulfill their duties as group members.
Be more tolerant towards them.
THEY ARE NICE PEOPLE.

也许只要以一颗平常心待他们，我就不会感到那么困扰。

Is it really about tolerance?
Or indifference?
I swear I'll be passive towards them and their work from now on, lest both parties suffer.
Unecessarily.

There can't only always be one source of fuel.
The vehicle we're in has 5 people, and the fuel has ran out.
So goodbye.

Yes, indifference is the key.