Return to the online world also no one talking to me.
BLOG....T______________T.......
Gosh.
Fine.
Desert me, world!

Gosh. 7 insect bites on both feet [total]. darn disgusting.

Darn itchy too.
GOD SAVE ME.
Damn.
Yesterday night was feeling-bad-about-myself night.
Today. Didn't go too well also.
It's bored rotting at home.
And darn bro brought his friend home coz his friend was locked out of the house.
Used both coms outside for dunno how many hrs.
And I can't jam.
DAMN HIM.
Ok. I was nice to watch tv alone and blog instead of asking them to get out.
Sigh..

Volunteer work; Cancelled.

Days were full.
Ok loh.
More rotting-at-home days.
It just sux.

Wanna talk to IsB also so gang ko. Yes. And I remembered she has someone else more impt.

So be it.
Only Sarah jiejie's nice enough to be talking to me.
And.. That Xiang person.
On off talking to me.
And tht roxxy rox peep.
Suddenly talk to me for fish.
Ok I'm really bored.

Listening to music is all I have for company.

TODAY I WENT NTUC. SUN PLAZA THERE HOR...POPULAR GOT SALE EH. LAST DAY. I SAW THIS DARMN CUTEEE PORCUPINEEEEE. T_T.... BUT IT COSTS..LIKE..OVER 60 BUCKS. =x....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AISEH. STOP SAYING SHANG REN THE HUA LE LAH. =X
SAY ONCE CAN LE. DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS REPEAT DE.
VERY SHANG REN GAN QING DE.
I'LL TRY TO CONTAIN MY SHANG REN HUA TOO. =x
I BLOGGED.

2 hours and counting..

And I wish my phone batt would die soon.

NOW.

CLEAR.









THERE'S NOTHING. DON'T BOTHER FINDING.





























































CLEAR.
























































































CLEAR.

Over you

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

So is this how you feel towards me?
That's good.
Right wants this. Left did not but it should not be too selfish.
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you.
The end? should be.

Get lost brain.
You get lost too heart.

Words can never replace feelings eh.
And they're bound to be revealed through words.

I have nothing else to add.
This is it.
Endings - categorised mainly into + and -
I wanted a + one.

Can't we really go back to before 140207?
Weren't we happier then?
It's just minus-ing the touchy stuff.
And certain lingo.

I know you need time to accept.
I need time to adapt too.

I've told you all I feel towards a r/s.
It's up to you to accept or reject.

There're really many better girls out there.
you've gotten over 3 r/s.
This should not be difficult to get over too.

I really dont wanna lose such a friend.
I've lost too many.

Never rule out any future possibilities.

I'm no longer that girl who yearns for a bgr anymore. I was.
Not now.
I tried to understand what love is. I couldn't.
It's sophisticated. The kind b/w guys and girls.
I don't wanna experience this now. It's too early.
I wanted to..But tht was 6 months ago.
I like you.
I love you as a friend.
But.. I cannot say I love you as a guy.
It's not coming from the depths of my heart.
It's meaningless.
I'm not there yet.
I don't have the ability to love other people besides my family and friends.
Not now definitely.
In the future or maybe never.

From like to love..there are like ten bus stops.
I'm not even half way there yet.
Maybe at the 3rd one.
Last time, I used to be.
Because my perception of love was ignorant and maybe a little xiao mei mei-ish.
Let nature take its course.
I'm really unable to say ily anymore. Unless I really mean it.
It's so freaking unfair to you.
Not my style.
I don't wanna continue giving you hope, and then be unable to 100% sustain it.
Because I don't wanna be treated the same way.
I dont like empty promises.

But I've tried.

It was never one-sided.
Maybe still isn't.

Time will wear it off.
Or maybe not.

Wait and feel.

Fade?
No idea.

Uncertain, doubts.

Letting go is inevitable.
Is letting go the same as ending it?
It looks different to me.

I never once mentioned separation.

Perspective. Then react.
The outcome I wished for?
I don't know.

I asked Pook today if she got sick of Bella.
She said yes.
Bella retaliated with a yes as well.
Is this how it's meant to be?
I'm not sure.

I'm incapable of sustaining a promise.
I daren't even promise.
Was it void?
Not completely.
It was mostly filled.
But, as long as it isn't 100%, I won't be satisfied.
If I'm not contented, how would others be?

I have to convince myself before I can convince others.

And this will take time.
I don't wanna be tied down by a promise or a special relationship.
Not now.
There are many restraints I have to set.
For myself to abide by.
These may be harsh.
If I can't live up to them, I can't face anyone.

This is the last straw.
Final.
Being abhorred?
Yeah. Feels like this is the case.
To be disliked is fine.
To know that I'm being disliked.
Not fine.
Lol.
Life can't be a straight line.
You'll be missing out on the good stuff, which would be cleverly incorporated into the bad.
Cheers.
I need enlightenment.
I'm gonna find it.
Alone.

感情麻木了，是否不用再受心理上的折磨？
是的。
你也能除掉你所渴望的自由感。
因为失去了感情就等于失去了快乐。
不过，也代表失去了痛苦。
这样的牺牲违背了我对自己人生所列出的原则。
苦与乐。欢与悲。
黑和白。
成双成对。
心灵已失去了方向。
但。。
以后再继续吧。