Blk 500 Sunsetwil Rd
#01-70 Singapore 750011
+65 9669 0000 (m)
11 February 2012
Ms. Daisy Wan
HR Manager
Hitachi Asia Ltd.
7 Tampines Grande
#08-01 Hitachi Square
Singapore 528736
Dear Ms. Wan
I am writing to apply for the post of Engineering Assistant, which appeared in The Straits Times Classified Advertisements, dated 23 January 2012. A recent Chemical Engineering graduate from the National University of Singapore (NUS), I am confident that my degree in this field would enable me to assume challenging roles in your company, and contribute to the continuous growth and prosperity of your firm.
During the 4 years at NUS, I have consistently volunteered my time with a school-based mentoring programme at a local primary school. Working with young children has taught me the importance of patience, and persistence in ensuring that concepts explained are clearly comprehended. Spending time with them has also reminded me of the value of work with society. Additionally, this experience has grown my ability to communicate ideas across effectively, and I believe that this enhances my suitability as a candidate for the post as one of the required tasks is to liaise with suppliers and contractors.
During my earlier stage of education, participation in overseas and local science conferences has made me more cognizant of the importance of environmental conservation. Through learning about the impacts our actions have on our surroundings, I have recognised the need to ensure minimum conflict between environmental preservation and economic growth. On the other hand, perpetual involvement in teamwork has helped to groom my ability as a team player, and made me realise the significance of working hard towards meeting the needs of an organisation. I believe this will allow me to better participate in the development and execution of engineering projects, as mentioned in the job scope, should I be given the honour of working with you and your company.
While I might not have had prior work experience, I believe the aforementioned experiences gained during my course of education demonstrate an alignment of values that I share with your company. This is sufficient reason to spur me on and work hard towards delivering the best results possible with my ability.
Thank you for taking time off to read this application letter and I do hope you will look favourably at it. You may contact me via mobile or alternatively through email at kristyn_nrs@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Ms. Kristyn Neo
9 comments:
I can't get my address/contact to be on the right! HELP!!
Hey Snr!
I think your application letter was really well written! The points that you brought up were actually very well substantiated by your examples!
I do think that the structure of your letter could be better though. Like I think your primary school experience should be shifted behind - shouldn't we always put relevant work experience first?
Nonetheless, I think it was a well written piece of work and I am just nitpicking =) I especially like the way you phrased your second last paragraph and might even borrow heavily from it in my future job application letters haha!
Oh the format thing, I think whether your address is on the RHS or LHS makes no difference. It's just stylistic?
Cheers!
Thanks Jr, Okay, I shan't bother with the formatting for now. Haha, I'll take note on the structure. I feel I could be more concise though. Thanks!
hey doll,
first off, common vs proper nouns!!! hahaha. don't worry, i made one such mistake too lol. anyway, justify it please, it's literally cringeworthy lol. okok. nitpicking aside, i think it's a really good app letter, girl.
however i would like to say that my initial impression is that it's weird that you brought up volunteering before skills directly relevant to the job. like i think you should sell your relevant skills before your soft skills. even though i do see the relevance of your volunteering work, it may not be the best way to start off your sales pitch.
and you might want to draw a clearer link between environmental conservation (i get that you're emphasising it but i don't know why) and the company/job.
also, i feel you could sell yourself better. i know you're worth so much more girl! it would make a difference if you went all out with adjectives like "I am driven" as opposed to "I understand the importance of being driven" which is what i feel you're doing. I think you're trying to avoid too many "I"s but still..it's appealing when you say out front "I am confident that.."
overall, excellent use of language, just dampened by the lack of "I"s. I like that you've also demonstrated good understanding of the job requirements. good job girl.
Hi Kristyn!
I like your how you elaborate on each activity that you do. Good job on that! (:
And yes, I would agree with Ariele that it seems kind of weird that you mentioned your volunteering activities as the first point. You might want to mention about your academic, and how would it help you in the job?
Oh yes, you might want to take away "While I might not have had prior work experience" as it's not necessary. I had this initially, but the group that peer marked my application letter the other day in class said to leave it out, as it may seemed negative.
Hope this helps! (:
Oh okay, thanks for the positive feedback Gladys!
Oh, yeah, makes sense Ariele. Thanks!
Kristyn! :) Well done! I think your application letter is very well written. I like how elaborate you are and that you are giving evidence to support the qualities that you wish to point out. :) I like how you clearly describe how you can be an asset to the company as well.
However, like what the rest mention, I think you might like to change the structure of your letter a little. :) This is because I think the fact that you've participated in my overseas and local conferences is actually more impressive and substantial than the volunteering services you've participated in. Afterall, that's a more unique and prestigious point in your portfolio since I believe you were chosen for it. Also you might like to justify your paragraphs. :)
:) Sorry for this late comment. I just realised that the letter is due tomorrow. :D
Thanks Jacq! Haha I think I did change a couple of parts with reference to parts of your feedback ((:!
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