Hello dear blog,..

I feel horrible now!!!!!
Darn lousy.
Ok. Apart from my depressing hexic skills.

Just a lot going on.

WAit, i'll delete my post first. Done.

I just seldom post at the forum. And when I do, I get condemned sometimes. Oh gosh.
Forget it man.
It just sux.
It just makes my day bad. Early in the morning.
I can't do anything. I wanna walk my troubles away.
Alone? too lonely but that's good. I'll see what I can do later.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I need to shout everything out!!
Today is such a depressing slappy failing day!
Gosh. I can't find a job to keep myself occupied.
And I hate having nothing to do.

It's just too much.
Plus Amanda.
She's like..so far from Isb now.
I mean, even if Isb were to not give her the newsweek on time, she should not be bad mouthing her. isb is not like what she says.
And she's so darn .. becoming more like her sis. An ass. sorry but yeah.
She's a pain.
And I darn hope we'll not be in the same class man.
Gosh.
When I said I wanted to join archery in jc, my second choice, just try for fun. She said you've gotta be tall. I mean. Wth. Who cares man. I was just saying. And I like targetting stuff.

From now onwards, she's not my best friend now.
She has been demoted to a friend!!!
UGH!!
Why do such things have to happen?
I didn't even pursue tht day when she left us standing.
FFK us for wht? I don't know.
Instead of asking,I can't be bothered.
Who cares? She's not a good friend as she used to be.

And she didn't even explain. She too didn't bother.
Fine.
Heck her.

I HAVE A LOT I WANNA DO AND BUY. BUT I CAN'T.

Although I know my blessings far outweigh my problems, I really am pretty blinded by the troubles now.
I just can't see anything postitively now. Even if people weren't out to condemn me, I see the bad in their words.
I wanna go away.

But if it's our destiny to die today, no matter what we do, we won't be able to change it.
Like for some people, unknowingly develop cancer.
they're kind yet such things have to happen to them.
it's not something they can change.
But of course, they can fight for a chance to survive.
provided if it's the early stage.
if it's a late stage, only God can save them I guess.

Sometimes, when we fight very hard for certain things, we end up not having them.
but at other times, without a single fight, some things just end up being ours.
Like when I take the bus.
I tend to like..rush to the bus stop every day after sch.
But slowly I tell myself.
If the bus comes, even if i walk like a snail, i would still be able to catch it.
If I'm destined to miss the bus, no matter how fast I walk or even run, I won't be able to catch it.

No doubt, certain things are within our control.
But our decisions are limited eh..
Bound by many restrictions. Family, etc etc.

Aihs.
The reason for those many ''break ups'' is actually partly due to me afraid of myself changing heart.
It's like, you're darn nice. Then.. Isn't it better to break now? Than to wait for me to change heart and then tell you I like someone else?
I think tht's damn cruel.

But I'm still not sure how strong my heart will be.
I can never control my feelings. I doubt anyone can.
Of course, the above may never happen.
But, I don't wanna take any risks.
I think it would be more painful if that were to occur.

Yeah. So..YOU'D BETTER GROW FATTER AND START PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE TURE TURE TURE. =x Lols. I need a stable future. A sense of security.
You can't give me tht.
YET.
Maybe when you're botak. =x

heya blog.

aiseh.. i'm worried sick.
the results.
i know worrying can't help. and won't help.
but..
maybe that's not the load that's weighing me down now.

it's about having to work.
ya know, just now at the recruitment agency - adecco [i think it's spelt like that =x]
darn scary lah.. i stare at the application form..
wa.. kao.. =x
stunned seh.
so cheem..didn't quite get it.
then mummy said i was stupid to ask for a 6.50 pay.
-.-...

you know wad.. i'm afraid of many people. as in. many people together as a thing.
especially people >> adults. they scare me.
how am i gonna overcome this seh..
how intimidating.
just the thought of working.
when i get older is stressful.
face the world now.
i mean later..another half a decade?
work work work.

see people.. older than you.
they have the right to scold you and stuff.
and you have to respect them as if they were.. some god.

that's for now.
T_T..
luckily i wrote in 3 weeks of work.
only.
how am i gonna survive in the working world seh blog.
it reminds me of the days in the office.
i don't like that.
A BAD WORKING EXPERIENCE TO START MY WORKING LIFE.
that's like.. s***.
-.-....................................

i hope the job i'm getting will be fine.
fun!! hopefully.
dream on?
hope not.
i don't wanna suffer with a job.
like.. feeling unhappy working.
and crying through the whole day of being stuck in the job.

NOW THAT SUXXXX!
DOUBLE XXXXXXX^X

ok now.

that crap zen. =x............
no lah..not that crappy.
he's so..
ughhhh!!!!

dunno lah..
he's just..
maybe i shouldn't really bother him anymore right?
esp when he's playing or eating or BOTH.

blog: yeah you should just stop calling him.

kae then!
cya!!

no hello, no bye bye.

but sometimes, he just acts like a kid. lol.
in a rather.. ok way loh.
0.1% of the time, he moves me.
lol. he really ought to work harder.
for his FUTURE.
aihs.
ok. i'm leaving!
got to paint my nails transparent.
love ya blog,
cya soon! :)

dear blogggggggggggggg..................

T_T..
stomach hurts eh.. must be that pig curse me.
aiseh.
the medicine is like.. not working.
>_>..................................................
somemore i applied some balm loh.....
still like that..
can't even do my work now.
can't even sleep. i'm so awake and when i lie down, the medicine may *puke!*..
cannot cannot.
blogggggggggggggggg ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. SAVE ME FROM HELL, AVENUE 03!!!!!!

stupid ache.
pian pian zai zhe shi hou lai..
today's supposed to be my ''chiong all mcq'' day loh...
T_T....................

on off on off... might as well off all the way -.-

OH.... PLUS ++++
blogggggggggggg.............
i never give him the name such a pig loh.
is he luan luan say one loh.
not my fault.

Blog: yeah. all his fault.

=D
okaye. i shall go watch tv. maybe that'll help.
i'll continue chiong-ing after lunch!
love ya blog,
:)

Ello blog!!
I missed you. =(

Anyways..
that pig is such a pig -.-...................................
ah wells.
normal.
aiseh.
still the same.

sometimes kinda insensitive.
at others, he's too sensitive.

no balance -.-

do you think i am a bit too zhu dong?
lol.
girls should be more reserved right?

blog: yeah.

orh.. ok then. i'll heed your advice.

blog: good girl.

=D
good night blog. =)