Indeed. Sorry no cure.

Gosh. I'm always such a selfish disappointment.

Condemning myself or whtever won't change anything now.

My words may very well just become excuses. worse, crap.

LEtting you down. Again. Over and over again.

To be honest, letting you down makes me feel like a bastard.

But.. of course, you're not the only one in my heart.

My parents. Their high expectations.

And of course myself.

My conscience and crap.

Both sides of my hand.

I have to choose between the both of them.

letting down either one is inevitable.

letting down either one would of course, make me feel guilty and like an asshole to the other.

life. Decisions.

after saying all these nonsense, I just wanna say..

I do cherish you a lot. As a good friend. I don't want our relationship to ruin the chances of us becoming good friends.

The choice is yours now.

I've decided. Now your turn.